Memory & behavior
Refusing care (bathing, meds): what to try
Refusing care is often about fear, discomfort, or control—not stubbornness. This page gives non-confrontational approaches that work.
Quick checklist
- Pick your battles: focus on safety-critical tasks first.
- Offer choices and keep steps small.
- Change the timing (later/earlier) and reduce discomfort.
- If refusal is new and intense, consider pain/illness.
Scripts that help
- “Would you like to do this now or after lunch?”
- “Would you prefer a towel bath or a quick shower?”
- “Let’s do one pill at a time with a sip of water.”
Reduce common barriers
- Warm the room, explain each step, use privacy, check water temperature.
- For meds: try applesauce/pudding if allowed; ask pharmacy about forms.
- Check for mouth pain, nausea, dizziness, or side effects.